The night becomes too deep and intense just before the pleasant sunrise.

Same is the case with difficult times. They are simply transitioning phases of your life. They indicate that something far greater is around the corner.

The challenge, however, is, to stay positive during difficult times. Well, here are 8 tips to help you out.

Tip One
Stay Focused on What You ‘DO’ Want.

You’re more likely to lose focus when hard times are on to you. You start thinking about the things you DON’T want. For example

I don’t want to fail.

I don’t want to suffer.

I don’t want to stay behind etc.

Just think, have you ever visited a restaurant where waiter comes and asks you “Yes sir, what would you like NOT to have?

Well, no such restaurant exists. The waiter is supposed to ask “Yes sir, what would you like to have?” You go through the menu card, decide what you want and place an order. Simple!

Life is also about placing orders with your thoughts and actions. When you use the right thoughts and actions, you get what you want. So, be persistent and stay focused on your dreams.

Tip Two
Find Time to Relax

Nowadays life has become so busy that we don’t even find time to unwind and be with ourselves. All we worry about is work, work and more work. Work is important, but so is relaxation. Go, find some time for it.

Get a massage
Though you surely can go to a spa for an expensive massage, but if that’s not in your budget, why not try your neighborhood barber?

Visiting the local hair salon in your vicinity could be a good idea to get a head and shoulders massage at a reasonable price.

Go for A Walk in a Park
The natural ambiance of a park gives you a great chance to consume tons of fresh air and spend some time alone. Try walking on the grass bare footed, it’s a pleasure you won’t find anywhere else.

Watch Moon
Watching moon for a while may give you a sense of oneness with the universe. Moon is a symbol of peace, purity and tranquility. It’s said to have calming effect on your mind and that’s exactly what you need to battle negativity.

Watch Your Favorite Movie
Watching your favorite movies is a wonderful experience. Just get the DVD from the local library or shop, switch off your mobile phone, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy.

Apart from the ideas above, playing with kids, walking down the street with your wife (or your neighbor’s, if you are lucky) or killing enemies on play station could also help you relax.

Tip Three
Spend Time with Positive People

It’s better alone than in a bad company. Spend some time with positive people. It’ll help you see the world from a fresh perspective. Hanging out with a bubbly and positive girl for even 15 minutes is more empowering than spending a whole day with a negative person.

Tip Four
Read Inspiring  Books

Reading inspiring books is a great way to increase positive vibes around you. Try to read something positive just before going to bed.
Also, reading biographies of people who survived hard times and rose above the else will boost your morale.

Tip Five
Do Something Out Of Your Comfort Zone

We all have our comfort zones. We do things in a certain way and rarely think of trying something new. When you do something that you’ve never done before, it makes you a little nervous but when you are through, you feel far more confident, which helps you become more positive.

Tip Six
Ask Successful People How ‘They’ Did It

The people who you think never had a hard time also faced challenges, handled criticism and survived difficult times. They have something which is far more valuable than anything else-EXPERIENCE.

Request successful people to share with you some insights.

Ask how they did it.

Ask what worked and what didn’t.

Ask if they have any advice for you.

I have an uncle in my family with whom I never talked much for around 20 years. One day we were sitting together and he started sharing his life experiences, how he faced challenges and survived tough times.

I was amazed at his courage and enthusiasm and felt sorry for myself for not talking to him earlier. Never assume that people will not share their success secrets, you will not know until you ask.

Tip Seven
Watch What You Eat

We have a saying in India “Jaisa khao ann, waisa ho jaye mann” (The type of food you eat have great impact on your mind)

Eat spicy and junk food and you’ll feel anxiety and stress all day long.

Eat raw and unprocessed food and you’ll feel calmer and better.

I know it’s easy to grab a ready-to-eat burger, hotdog or pizza than preparing a nice raw salad but the time spent preparing a healthy meal is worth it. The food you eating will make a positive or negative effect on your emotional state.

Start off your meals with a plate full of raw vegetables and fruits. Eat salad first, main course later.

Also, if you drink, limit your alcohol intake and try herbal tea or a simple glass of good old milk before going to bed. It promotes good sleep and helps you rejuvenate.

Tip Eight
Clean and Organize Your Closet

Have you ever got frustrated because you were already late for work and couldn’t find your black pair of socks in the closet?

It may be because the closet is cluttered. Do yourself a favor, clean it.

Get everything out-yes, every single thing. Take a good look at all the clothes, and sort them in three groups.

Group 1- Clothes you want to keep (Keep them)
Group 2- Clothes you want to discard (Throw them away)
Group 3- Clothes you want to give away (Give them to someone)

A clean and organized closet gives you peace of mind and clarity of thoughts. I know it sounds too simple but then who says staying positive needs to be complicated.

P.S. To stay positive during difficult or not so difficult times, I encourage you to read Amsdaily.net – Your Daily Dose of Inspiration by Alpha.

Back in 2007, I used to work for a private Fm channel. Diwali was around the corner and we were busy preparing some radio spots for our clients.

A client had specifically asked to use a mantra as the opening of the spot, my sound engineer and I put hard work in producing that spot and it came out pretty nicely. I asked the sales guy who was dealing with that client to come inside the studios and listen to it.

The sales guy listened to the spot and said that it was quite good.

I replied “Yes, it’s sounding very good.”

He gave me a sarcastic look and said to the sound engineer “Look at him, how humble he is, praising his voice himself.”

I replied back “If something is good, it’s good. It doesn’t matter if it’s my work or not.  And if my voice is sounding awesome then why shouldn’t I praise it. Should I criticize my work just for the sake of sounding humble?” He had no answer.

I am sure you also must have kept mum or even criticized your own work or achievements just to sound humble because you have been conditioned by your parents, teachers and society that it’s not OK to blow your own trumpet.

Being Humble, My Foot!

You play humble because you assume that people will look upon you as a nice person and will consider you as ‘So talented and yet, so humble’.

A person who cannot tell others how good he is at doing certain things is not humble. He is simply suffering from low self esteem and must do something about it.

Here are 3 reasons why you must blow your own trumpet.

# 1

To Let Others Know What You Have Got

You may be talented in any or all of these-singing, acting, solving mathematical equations, designing websites, making others laugh, creating something extraordinary. But only YOU know about your talents. What about others? Are they also aware that you’ve got a particular talent? That you could do something no one else can even come close to. Who do you think is going to tell them. CNN IBN or Fox News?

Oh! Sorry! I didn’t know you’ve hired an advertising agency to spread the word.

But if that is not the case then how will others get to know about you. Your talent is no good if nobody knows about it.

Why do you think actors keep on talking about their upcoming movies?  They want to let you know about the good work they have put in and also why there are a million reasons you should watch the movie.

# 2

To Help Others

Not helping others when you can, is a crime. Everyone needs help.

Think about your schooling. Why do you went to school? Your parents could have arranged everything at home and saved a lot of money. Why they paid for your books, school fee, transportation charges, trip to movies and amusement parks? Why did they attend numerous parent teacher meetings despite their busy schedules?

Because hey knew you needed a teacher to help you understand what’s there in the books. That’s why we have teachers for almost everything-English, Hindi, Math, Science, Geography, Music, Arts and Craft, Tennis, Basketball, Yoga, Karate…the list is endless.

But why should I help others?

Because you got help from your parents, teachers, neighbors and even strangers, didn’t you? Now it’s your turn to return the favor.

Help others to understand things in a better, to become more efficient at doing what they love to do.

# 3

To Make Money

Your talents are precious gifts given by the universe to make money and live a good life. If you can’t blow your own trumpet, you’ll find it difficult to make money.

Let’s take an example. You setup a company with the best engineers available to solve computer related problems. No company in the city comes even close to the expertise of your workforce. But you decide NOT to let anyone know that you exist. Will you make money? No.

In order to make money you need to spread the word about who you are what you do? That’s why every company has a PR & marketing division.

Everyone blow their trumpets. Actors, singers, politicians, businesses, consultancies, schools and even your local subzi wala. (He shouts out he’s got the best and the cheapest tomatoes in the market)

Take a good look around and see if you can afford not to blow your own trumpet? There’s nothing to be shy about it, you have to tell the world that you do exist and you have got what they are looking for. Go out. Say it LOUD and CLEAR.

Personal development. What is it, actually?

The so called life skills training companies want you to believe that it’s all about different skills-analytical, logical, leadership and communication (by communication skills they mean how fluent you are in English, as if the people who don’t speak English are not good communicators)

And yes, they also want you to believe that it’s about group discussions, conflict resolving, facing interviews and what to wear when going for one (what color of  underwear gels with what kind of trousers kind of stuff), getting a job and that’s it!

The Truth of these (so called) ‘Training Companies’
Let me tell you something that happened with me while I was trying to get into personal development coaching business.

I had been chosen as a freelance trainer for colleges in Western UP, and was supposed to attend a one day training and orientation program in a life skills training company in Noida.

I went there with a lot of curiosity and optimism because those people use one of the most respected and sacred word from Hindu philosophy as their company title. Considering the sacredness of that word, I had pretty much high expectations from them.

But as soon as the session began, I found that they are not only disgracing that beautiful word but also making students believe that the shit they are teaching is ‘Personal Development’.

And this is not just about that company, it’s the story of most so called training companies. They are creating some useless curriculum which they call unique and they are selling it to the students in the name of personal development. It’s pathetic.

Here’s my take on this.
The people who are running these companies have no clue about personal development whatsoever, and these companies are operating as puppets in the hands of college authorities.

By college authorities I mean the people sitting in the chairs of directors, deans and chairpersons of colleges. Most of the people have got everything in place like land, money and political power but lack common sense and emotional connect with their students. They have only one thing in mind-How to make money out of students? Rude it may sound but that’s the naked truth.

The Myth of Positive Thinking
Next comes our positive thinkers, you know, the new age people? They believe that positive thinking is the end of the world. They say “personal development is all about positive thinking”

Well, again, positive thinking is not personal development. Yes! The path to personal development passes through it but it’s just a milestone in the journey and not the destination itself.

Personal development is serious business. Only those who are willing to take the risk without any guarantee of success can walk down this path.

So what actually is Personal Development?

Personal development is BEING YOUR OWN MASTER.

It means that you are able to use your mind as a tool. You are able to think when you want. You are able to stop thinking when you want. You have total control over your mind.

Right now, your mind is controlling you. It is thinking negative or positive whenever it wants. You have no power to stop it.  It’s driving you crazy like a car that you have no control over. It runs when it wants to, it stops when it wants to. It has become your master.

Personal development is reclaiming your mastery over mind.

Here are 3 practical steps to help you out.

# 1
You wake up to the fact that mind has become your master and realize the need to reclaim your mastery over it.

# 2
You start working to convert your thinking from negative to positive.

# 3
You start succeeding in thinking positive and gain a little control over your mind. When you get stuck and need to make a choice between option A and B, you ask for guidance. Should I take this job or that one, should I marry this person or not, should I become a doctor or a golfer?

You get to know what is right for you. You rarely go off the track.  It feels awesome, but wait, you are still not there.

# 4
You start watching your thoughts instead of getting identified with them and they start disappearing. It’s called ‘Meditation’.

And then a day comes when there is none left. All of your thoughts disappear. Now you don’t think negative or even positive. You don’t ask which path to take. Now you can ‘see’ what is right for you. The need to think and analyze cease to exist. You become your own master.

That’s personal development.

Do you have it in you?